After several requests I have opted to tackle the nice guy conundrum. Although women insist they are looking for a nice guy they tend to gravitate toward assholes. Today I will discuss reasons why as well as make recommendations as to how you should adjust the personality you project when approaching women.
Nice Guys
When you are nice to a woman you've just met the first thought in her head is often: "Why is this guy being so nice to me?" The question really isn't as odd as it sounds but you have to understand the interpretation. Think about it again. Why would you be so kind to someone you just met? You don't know them and they don't know you. There is no previous bond or history. You are a complete stranger to this person. So being a nice guy leads many women to believe that you must obviously want something from them. Based on my previous post we all know that projecting those wants carry unfavorable results. Approaching this way also suggests that you are perhaps rather needy and/or weak; someone desperate for friends and affection.
Social Shield
My recommendation for you guys out there is to not stop being a good guy altogether (I mean after all that trait will often lead you to strengthening potential relationships in the long term) so therefore I suggest you implement a shield. A social shield is a barrier an individual has to work through in order to get to who you are at the core. How do we activate this social shield? The easiest/simplest way to display your shield is by pointing out minor faults and tease people for them. Lets look at the example below.
Example
You just met a woman who has clearly spent a good deal of time doing her hair. Its fall and somewhere between her leaving her apartment and arriving at the bar you're at a leaf happened to fall into her hair. You notice this oddity, and you decide to put the social shield in action. (Now understand people have different personalities and styles to fit their core. Lets use something generic that acts almost as a one size fits all comment) You tap the girl on the shoulder lightly. She looks at you and asks "What do you want?" You take the leaf from her hair and with a teasing smile say "Classy."
Notes: Understand this is a bloated example, but think about simple things to challenge a woman on like hairstyle, clothing preference, accent, posture, type of drink, etc. etc. Just remember that criticizing other will lead them to criticize you so make sure you are comfortable with laughing at yourself and your faults as well as having something else to talk about on hand if the woman you're talking to gives you a goofy smile and a blank stare.
Conclusion
Some people oppose the idea as they claim that it's being fake to others and even to yourself as an individual. My response to this has been a rather simple analogy and one I will most likely refer to as I present future topics. This analogy is Sports. The truth of the matter is that socializing is a sport much like football, baseball or soccer. There are strategies and techniques teammates have to use on the opposing team to win a game. Consider the Social shield as the stiff arm of football. Hope this is helpful, have fun with this.
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